Comparatively Speaking
by Zaedah
Summary: The oddest question had been burning in her brain all day


How about another bit of mush in memory of our late lamented junkie?

**Comparatively Speaking**

One sleeping baby later, Claire stepped out of the tent to find Charlie. The oddest question had been burning in her brain all day and while rocking Aaron to sleep, she worked up the nerve to ask him. Charlie was sitting cross legged in the sand by the newly built fire. Night was approaching and the first few stars peeked out. They had his attention. But she was about to secure it herself.

"Charlie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you ever…Um, how can I word this?"

He turned his gaze to her as she plopped down beside him. "I prefer English, generally, but…"

"Shut up. I'm trying to be serious here." Her tone was harsher than intended and his grin disappeared. She'd have to blame her rudeness on embarrassment.

"Have I ever?" He prompted softly.

Deep breath. "Done it with a porn star?" There. It was out.

Damn, the grin reemerged. Along with the patented confusion that looked so adorable on him. "What?"

She fidgeted in a considerable waste of energy before attempting any explanation. "Well, it's just that…Thomas was my first, okay? And we only did it three times."

"And it wasn't everything you've heard?" His voice teased even as sympathy filled his blue eyes.

"Kinda, pretty much, yeah. So I was just thinking about my favorite excuse. I'd always tell myself, 'Well, he doesn't have to be a porn star, so…'. But I realized, what would I know about porn stars anyway?"

He laughed. "So you figured you'd ask me."

"Well, you were a rock star. Not a big leap to assume maybe…Obviously you've had many more interesting experiences than me. Like maybe three girls at once or in public or super porn momma or whatever."

And his laughter grew as she rambled through the sentence. Perhaps she should have been offended but it was so good to see him completely unguarded and relaxed. And it was contagious.

"First off," he began, "never three. Two on occasion. Just don't tell Aaron."

"And second off?"

"Second, public has its unique merits. Although I don't recommend getting caught in Beijing. Prison food's terrible."

Scooting closer, she prepared to take advantage of his openness. "And the porn star? Was it everything you've heard?"

And jealousy rose at the far away look his eyes took. "It was. And then some."

Claire's hand gestured for more. "Come on, Charlie. Details."

His gaze dropped to the sand, a little hesitant but she was used to that from him. "You sure you want me to answer that?"

"I was brave enough to ask. You have to answer. It's like, an obligation now."

Her hand drifted to his knee and the connection seemed to soothe any reluctance. "See, they're so used to it, they don't get flustered or shy. Been there, done that, I suppose. Plus, they don't get too distracted to speak, which I happen to like." Claire filed that bit away. "And not much impresses them. So it becomes a challenge to surprise them. Keeps things…interesting."

"Is that your standard in a woman, then?"

He turned to her, taken aback by the question. "Claire, if you're with someone you love, there is no standard. You can't compare them to anyone else. Even a porn star."

"How do you not?" And her heart hung by a cord for his response.

"Because it's not about that. When you're with the right one, you're not thinking of anyone else. If you're busy comparing them to someone, then something's wrong."

"So you wouldn't compare someone with a porn star…even if they have next to no experience?" And with that, she knew she gave it all away.

"Is that what this is about? You don't feel experienced enough and think any man would hold it against you?"

"Not any man. Just concerned with one." Good Lord, could her face blush any further?

She felt him shift in the sand beside her, and when she looked up, he was before her. His hands rose to cradle her face as his eyes bore into her. "Claire, if we… I don't compare you to anyone, for any reason. It's impossible."

Maybe it was the seriousness of his expression or the way he held her so reverently, but she believed him.

And her decision was made. "I want to…test that theory."


End file.
